How do you react when things don’t always go your way? What if you don’t get something you want or maybe think you deserve? Or on a more serious note, how do you react when you maybe lose a job or a loved one gets sick?
Let’s face it, life is hard and many times it’s unfair. As with everything that we encounter in it, we must handle it in a biblical manner and with lots of prayer. If we don’t handle it the right way, it can leave us in a battle with our pride. This can cause us to become closed off or lash out at others. The worst thing we can do is become angry with an almighty God. Let me give you an example from my own life to help you understand what I’m talking about.
This last year, as most of the ones I’ve lived, had its share of ups and downs. On the up side, I had a great family life, saw improvements in my health, and even had some opportunities to grow in some creative hobbies that I have. Don’t get me wrong with where I’m about to take this, I had a good 2014. I just want to share some testimony of some things that kept it from being all that it could be.
Over the course of the year, I had a few things that didn’t go my way. A couple of things in ministry and one thing in my professional life just didn’t pan out how I’d hoped. It left me feeling frustrated. I began to question the direction of my life. This led me to a battle within myself and with God. I grew cold, angry, and started to withdraw from normal life. If there’s one thing I’ve always excelled at, it’s throwing a pity party for myself. I’m an expert at it. It’s a situation where I let the pride monster out of the cage. It’s a fact that I’m ashamed to admit. I even let this carry over into the new year.
There was no doubt where I stood with God for eternity, but I was battling with Him in the here and now. I’d even feel God speaking and trying to move in my life throughout this time but I chose to close my ears. I thought I’d save myself from further disappointment. To sum it all up, I had become a fool. Luckily for me, the Lord doesn’t give up as quickly as I did. Because He endlessly pursues us, He had one more plan up his sleeve.
This past Sunday morning things came together in a way that God led us to visit a local church that was close to home. Fortunately for me, I was about to hear a testimony that was about to pull me out of my pity party. As the Pastor was giving the message, he shared an experience he had that sounded very familiar. Years ago he had went through something similar to what I was dealing with. At a certain point, he reached rock bottom. He cried out to God to rescue him and of course He did.
During the invitation the Holy Spirit reminded me of my situation and how I’d been acting toward God. I was ashamed and sorry, but even better, I was broken. I took that time, and some time after the service, to cry out to the Lord. I needed healing. I needed forgiveness and resoration. God had every right to close his ears like I had done. He had every right to shut me out, but he didn’t, that’s the great thing about Him. He’s always waiting for us to come back home, even a selfish, prideful mess like me. It was a great day of healing and restoration. When I let Him tear down the walls I had put up, He made me whole again. It was just up to me to let go of the past. I had to realize that His plans and mine are not always going to line up. It was up to me to realize that the created is never greater than the Creator.
Maybe you can’t relate to my issue because you don’t struggle with pride like I do. Maybe you’ve reached the point in your walk with Christ where you’ve completely let go and let Him lead. If so awesome, but chances are there’s something else you struggle with. But that’s ok, as believers we are all in this together. We are commanded to love and learn from one another. As Christians, we are all individual parts of the body. We are never as strong apart as we are together. As for me, it’s great to be a forgiven and restored part of the body once again. I’ve decided to let go and let God. I’m excited to see where that leads me in the new year.